Valentines Day in the Express Line

The conveyer belt in the express line at Vons reflected everyone's plans for their romantic evening--

Old man behind me: Bottle of champagne and box of cordial cherries
Tatooed teenager in front of me: Chocolate mousse, strawberries, and gel frosting in a tube (?)

Suser: 5 bricks of Tofu, 2 bags of carrots, 1 bag of green beans.

True story! But single life's been kind to me so it's alllll good.

Must get it together.

So there I was, patiently enduring the agonizing wait for the decision from school 3, and wondering why it seems that EVERYONE has heard but me. I couldn't take it anymore and I call--only to find out that they never received my transcript from my undergraduate school, and never told me. Now I've reordered two copies (and will have a friend personally walk-in a third), and must wait another 2-6 weeks for a decision. I'm practically an R2 applicant now.

Upon finding this out, I had a breakdown. I'd built up so much anxiety over the past few weeks and had put my life on hold for this decision. I didn't know what to do with myself. But after last night's sorrow-drowning binge on miller lite and cookie crisp (I'm a classy gal), I realized that I really can't go on for the next month being paralyzed with uncertainty.

If I'm rejected, I will reapply. If I get in, I will be joyfully celebrating up until the first day of class.

Until then, I have a few weeks to tackle the other parts of my life that have been neglected. I've challenged myself to a mini-life-makeover/refinement by setting a few goals:

• Lose the annoying 5 pounds I gained last year
• Clean my place thorougly and redecorate/refurnish
• Attend to things I've been putting off: dentist, passport renewal, etc.
• Mentally divorce self from toxic people
  
• Start taking yoga again
• Finish half-read books in nightstand drawer
• GO OUT every weekend and stop moping
  

If I do end up getting dinged after all this---at least I won't be feel flabby, messy, lazy, AND rejected, ha. And thank you to those bloggers who've posted about their reapplication process and who've shot me some encouraging words, I appreciate it. :)

outlook is grim

So far, I've only gotten dings, and I feel like I need to prepare myself for the possibility of not getting in anywhere. What then? Apply in 4th round to 'safer' schools, re-apply in the fall, or postpone the whole thing altogether and find a more immediate way to make a career change (i.e. ...new job)?

My most recent interview for my "safest" school was by far the hardest. I'm not sure if I misinterpreted her demeanor and tone, but I felt a tinge of hostility and condescension from my interviewer, and the questions asked for much more specificity compared to my prior interviews for more "difficult," top 10 schools (all to be revealed later!). Perhaps she was just testing my ability to keep it cool but--most people who've interviewed with her have claimed she was quite nice and conversational. I suppose I tried my best and have done all that I can.

All my eggs are now in one basket, and all I can do now is wait. And wait... and wait...

Dear Suser, Ding! - Love, Kellogg

I'm not shocked nor heartbroken, but a little disappointed, of course. I saw it coming. Part of me wants to scream, WHY DONT YOU WANT ME, KELLOGG?!? But i'm trying not to take it personal. :)

I love my friends. And

I love my friends. And beer.

vague and angsty

I really wanted to keep this out of my blog but I can't! So here it is: I made a lot of mistakes this year as a newly single person. Nothing so disgusting or shameful that I need to take a lysol-bath or anything like that--but I made a lot of really bad calls with my dating life: who, why, where, when, all of the W's, really, including "What the hell?" and "Whoa there turbo!"

And the worst part is, I can't entirely escape these mistakes. I am REALLY looking forward to the new year so I can use that as an excuse to start anew, clear my thoughts/contact list, and rejoice over b-school acceptances, rather than giving myself a migrain over useless high school drama.

christmas

i've had a great holiday weekend, but i'm feeling a bit guilty because i got a ton of useful / interesting / cool gifts including the new ipod shuffle, a flash drive, a hilarious 'boyfriend' pillow...and I just got everyone corny tshirts that they'll be too embarrassed to wear out. doh!

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

SUBMITTED THE LAST ONE! HURRRRAH! ITS A CELEBRATION BITCHES!

i miss...

crocheting little scarves
crafting stuffed felt monsters
making jewelry
eating healthy
sleeping well
blogging regularly
stalking celebrities
having a clean room and desk
actually using my netflix subscription
not dressing like a slob

gee, what a glamorous life i gave up to apply to bschool

Theme Songs

I must say I have to highly recommend picking ridiculous, but motivational theme songs throughout the application process. Given the process is so grueling, I suggest having one for each milestone - GMAT, Essay completion, Interview, and of course ACCEPTANCE. Maybe a reflective, encouraging rejection song as well.

so far mine are:
GMAT theme (and celebration dance): Kanye West - Celebration
Interview completion: Fergie - Fergalicious

The more ridiculous, the better! Don't go searching for the right song---just wait and the song will find you. It's quite encouraging and satisfying to sing loudly on your way home, dancing behind the wheel, arms flailing in the car to lyrics like:

I'm Fergalicious (so delicious)
My body stay vicious
I be up in the gym just working on my fitness
He's my witness (oooh wee)

Try it!

P.S. - interview 2 - check!

Interview Hump Surpassed

Unfortunately an interview with my top pick is required so it's no indication of hopefully being accepted. But the dude was friendly and asked the typical questions you'd expect. I wasn't sure if he was going easy on me or if I was just incredibly well prepared. He did have follow-up questions on both my career and outside activities, but they weren't especially difficult to answer. I guess I'd say they were more of his way of trying to reveal any bullshittery in my initial answers. Luckily there wasn't any :) His super-friendliness was a bit daunting since I couldn't really read him or his reactions very well. He might have been humoring me the whole time.

pushby.com

Oh well, it doesn't matter now. It's over. I hadn't interviewed in quite some time so I was pretty nervous about flubbing my words together or having sweaty palms and all that. But the glass of wine an hour prior helped calm me down a bit :) Though I don't recommend that to anyone who doesn't usually become a little more charming and animated with alcohol.

And then there was one!

Unreachable dream school.........check
Top 20 probable school.............check
More Likely top 30 school...........not due for a while

FREEDOM!

Oh wait. Interview approaching. Wah.

my favorite time of year

Yesterday I got in a parking-lot-rage verbal altercation and the end result was my car getting keyed by some dickwad stranger who got away. Thankfully my car is so junky I initially wasn't even sure if it'd actually gotten keyed or not. But the entire incident put me in a horrible mood, as you can imagine.

But today I found the perfect pair of boots to complete my halloween costume...for $7, in my size, in the absolute most perfect color. It was a Halloween miracle! My favorite holiday never lets me down. Finally, something FUN to look forward to this fall!

Finally.

I PRESSED SUBMIT.
one down, two to go

Once upon a time....

Most of the comments I'm receiving from people who have been proof-reading my career-goals essay say that it lacks creativity. But I wonder how creative I can possibly be with my snore-inducing technical career history, and equally tranquilizing career goals? I don't think my essay would neccessarily bore any admissions committee to death--but a normal person, yes, probably beyond the grave.

It's difficult to take my helpful friends' advice lightly as I respect them all (an English PHD candidate, a law-school student, and a freelance journalist) and trust their essay-writing skills much more than my own, but at the same time, none are applying to business school nor know much about it. So I really don't know what type of creativity they're looking for...something gimmicky? A humorous anecdote about my glamourous IT career? It's hard to infuse personality into an essay prompt that asks strictly for career history and future career goals, as I think I'm a pretty damn interesting, well-rounded gal, but it's hard for that to be reflected in such a limited essay.

GAH.

I knew this would be hard but...

Wow, writing is hard. After hours of research, outlining, speaking to MBA's and English PHD's at work, I find myself resorting to 8th grade essay prep--brainstorming with bubbles.

Ha...gotta love google images.

I have a "story" ...finally

After much self-assessment, I think I've got the foundation for my "story" that will be told through my application essays. My progress was initially stagnant, and felt futile, but now it's snowballed into something that feels more solid. I am done panicking--I feel confident and excited about applying. Although I'm a little stressed and nervous about it all still, of course.

I think it definitely helped me to make note of all the post-collegiate things I've done, professional and non-professional. While I did do some sit-down brainstorming, I've also been making little notes to myself since I began considering business school. Whenever I remembered an accomplishment, no matter how small, that would contribute to my bschool story, I would jot it down. Reading other essays, looking through photographs, revisiting journal/blog entries from college all helped me gather a giant list of experiences that I feel will help bolster my candidacy.

As I'm somewhat of a career switcher, I also have been reading and researching as much as I can about the career I'm most interested in--just to get a better idea of how I can present my achievements so that they'll be the most consistent to what my career goals entail.

Though I'm still at the beginning of this process, I do feel like my own understanding of "why" I want an MBA has been relatively fleshed out. I don't feel like I had to force things to fit when they didn't--for the most part, the different pieces seem to have fallen into place.

We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.

-Frank Tibolt

"Wait until next year"

This was part of the advice given to me by a Harvard MBA whom I really respect and admire. He advised me to postpone applying for a year in order to make a greater case for myself for a top 5 school. He seemed very assured that if I applied to school in 07 (and spend the next year making my apps stronger) I could probably get into any school I wanted. Of course, this is just one person's opinion--but it did make me think.

Personally I feel that I'm ready to apply and that I'm ready for school, though I do see how much better I could potentially prepare in a year if I were to apply in 07. Right now, I've only planned to apply to one top 5 school. I suppose I'll assess how I feel when I'm nearing the end of the application process this fall...and when I see what schools I'm admitted to.

the MBA tour

Wow, it's been a month since the GMAT and I've managed to do absolutely nothing. It doesn't help that our home's turned into a frat house--complete with cheap porch furniture, drunken "Guitar Hero" on the Playstation, and a new ping (beer) pong table. I think I stretched my post-GMAT relaxation period a bit too long.

I really only have one issue left when it comes to school selection, and that's whether or not to apply to Haas. I decided to register for the MBA tour that's coming to Los Angeles, but with the endless list of participating b-schools, I wonder if I'll really get anything worthwhile out of it...

Have any fellow bloggers gone to this event? Please share your experience with it :)

www.thembatour.com

My GMAT Experience...in great detail.

My test date was on a Monday, and I studied up until Noon on Sunday afternoon. It was hard for me to drop everything and just decide that I've studied all I could. As much as I was sick of studying, it was hard to resist picking up those flashcards or thumbing through O.G. one last time. But I slammed all my prep books shut and stacked them on the floor. I was going nuts from anxiety, but I knew I was ready as I'd ever be. I spent my Sunday relaxing with friends, shopping, eating out, and sleeping early.

My test was at 1 pm Monday afternoon, and I woke up around 9 am. I didn't think I'd have trouble sleeping that night, but I ended up waking up every few hours or so. And I did dream about the test. I dreamt that I received an amazing score and was pretty damn disappointed upon waking up to realize I hadn't even taken the test yet! After I finally got up, I had breakfast, gave myself several pep talks in the mirror, and found myself with nothing to do at 11 am. I ended up lounging in front of the television and watching a few TiVo'ed episodes of Family Guy. Not exactly the best way to stimulate my brain before the GMAT, but I needed to calm myself down and a vodka shot wasn't a viable option.

Eventually 12 pm rolled around and I headed off to the test center, which was only a mile or two from my home. My heart started to pound. Looking back, I don't know why it worried me so much. Even if I didn't do well, I could have taken it again. And I knew I wouldn't completely bomb the test. But I suppose that the months of studying and hype around this test would make anyone nervous.

Certainly the security surrounding the test only gave me more anxiety. Digital thumbprints and photos, escorts to the bathroom, ID at all times?! I should have known about and expected this already, I know.

I placed all my items in the locker and went to the restroom for one final pep talk. "You can DO IT!" I told myself. Cheesy as it was, I convinced myself that I was fucking amazing and that I've come so far and accomplished so many things I never thought I could--so what's a little test? I was smart, I had studied, and I could only do well. It was now or never.

I was escorted to my computer and sat down to the writing. My analysis of an argument was about an international-themed amusement park, and my analysis of an issue was about unemployment...I think. I did well on the first, but was 3/4 through the second when I realized I wasn't really answering the question. In a panic, I inserted a paragraph into the body and a few lines into the conclusion just so it would appear as if I were answering the question. Oh well, I didn't care, it was the writing. I was unphased by my shaky performance, but did take a break to prepare myself for the quant.

It was a little irritating that my slow ass proctor started the quant section for me before I was even able to sit down. The clock was ticking and he had not moved out of the way! He also insisted on pulling my chair out for me, eating up more valuable seconds. Finally I was able to sit down and start. I was a little unnerved from losing time. I chugged through the first few questions, but realized that I might have gotten the 3rd or 4th question wrong, AFTER the fact. What a way to raise my blood pressure...After getting through half the questions, I started to feel like I was getting the hang of it. The questions were tough but I was handling them. I ended up having to guess on the last two but I was satisifed with that--as I've had to blindly guess on up to 7 in the practice tests.

Verbal was relatively easy, as it always had been for me. Like other test-takers, I found verbal to be rather relaxing as I no longer had to scribble or calculate anything. I did get a few more RC passages than I would have wanted...and each one was lengthy. I think I did feel a little too relaxed, as I felt like the worst was over, and took more time than I needed on verbal. While I usually finished with 10-15 minutes left on practice tests, I actually ran out of time like an idiot on the real thing! I blindly guessed on the last two and let out a GIANT sigh of relief.

I went through the post-test survey rather slowly, trying to treasure the happiness I felt in finishing before my world crashed down when I saw my 550 or whatever horrible score was I was expecting. Finally the page arrived where my score would be calculated. I closed my eyes and my heart was pounding harder and louder than ever. I kept peeking up at the screen but the damned thing was still calculating. Eventually, I looked up and saw my score. I saw a 7 and jumped for joy. It was better than all my practice exams! I had doubted myself too much--because I sat there in disbelief for a few seconds. I managed to get up from my seat and receive my print-out. I gathered my things and left. It was fucking over!

After a mass text-message with my score to all my friends and supporters, I happily drove home and got drunk.

Here are some tidbits for your reference. I'll save my crappy advice (if anyone out there hasn't taken the test?) for a later post.

Prep materials:

Kaplan GMAT
Kaplan GMAT 800
Official Guide 11
Kaplan pocket guide
www.beatthegmat.com's flashcards
Kaplan Kaptest CD
Official GMATprep CD

Practice Scores:

Kaplan Diagonostic: 680
Kaplan CAT 1: 580
GMATprep CAT 1: 710
Kaplan CAT 2: 560
GMATprep CAT 2: 710

THE REAL THING: >710
Official Writing Score: 5